As I’m actually starting to prepare for my trip at the end of April, I’ve noticed that the stress is starting to get to me. Yes I have my own ways of doing things that may be slightly unconventional, but in my mind there is method to my madness. Let’s just say my parents don’t quite use the same planning methods as me as at this point, they are thoroughly panicked about my state of unpreparedness and my lack of worry about said state of unpreparedness.
Really the only thing I’m truly worried about is how I’m going to feed myself for 3 months without a fridge in the desert. I can spend hours speculating about how to do it, when in reality I’m just going to have to learn from those who have done it before and figure it out as I go. Worse comes to worse I go on a fast food diet for 3 months. If that’s not motivation to figure it out, then I don’t know what is.
They’ve also seemed to have forgotten that I’m still in school and that the classes I’m taking are not just classes to fill up some random credits. Oh no, they are essential to the process of obtaining my degree. I don’t pass these classes, I don’t get my degree, these classes are important. They also forget (or maybe just don’t know) that my SWD protocols are still up in the air and I’m really hoping that this round of experiments work or the entire thing is going to have to be abandoned. Considering everything those flies and I have gone through together, it would be sad to let them go without getting any results.
At the same time I’m in the process of saying goodbye to my undergraduate university experience. In one week from now, I will have written my final final exam of my undergraduate career. I’m trying to process the fact that it’s all coming to a close. It really doesn’t help that the prof whose lab I’m in is retiring because that lab is where I would go when I get back. It’s my home when I’m on campus. With the plans for it being redone, it’s like my home on campus is disappearing with me.
I’m also trying to find the best way to say goodbye to my friends without having the big melodramatic drawn out goodbyes. Not my style. I disappear silently and quickly on purpose to avoid all of that but sometimes people just deserve more than what I want. I need to give them a chance to say goodbye to me if they want it. So now I have to make sure that I block out time to see my friends before I leave but because of my unpreparedness (it really isn’t that bad, I just need to go through old gear and add a few things) it’s kinda hard to do.
It’s becoming harder to keep a calm and collected mind with the pressure from my parents to prepare well in advance, making sure I make time to say goodbye to friends and then making sure I do the things I really want to do before I leave. Little things like clean my room, upload some more music onto my ipod and attempting to improve my physical strength. It’s a hard balance and I’ve stumbled more often than not lately trying to keep this balance but I’m slowly getting the hang of it. I can only take it one day at a time and do my best to make everyday count.
Until next time,