Mid-January already?

Wow the past 2 weeks have felt like a bit of an emotional roller coaster and as a result, I’m sitting here wondering what exactly is going on sifting through confusion.

Started off by catching a cold right when I thought I had survived whatever was infecting the rest of my family, a week after everyone is well, I come down with a cold. Granted it was nowhere near as bad as what the rest of my family experienced but it was enough to confine me to the house for 3 days. Luckily I got over it quickly so I could go back to helping out at the start up business I’m working at to make sure we met our weekly supply demands.

 The start up has also been in an interesting phase as we have product, there have been customers supposedly just waiting for it to be available and yet no one’s buying it. They all claim that due to the holiday season things have been slow and it would take them a while to get back up into the swing of things. I haven’t been providing any assistance in the selling of stuff mostly because I’m the only one who makes sure we would have enough product to sell on an ongoing basis once things pick up. But now as it’s hitting mid-January, I’m starting to wonder if this is actually going to take off or am I going to have to find a job that can actually start paying me for my time as opposed to banking my hours.

I’ve also felt somewhat unlike myself the past week in particular. Normally I have little to no desire to dress up in formal wear and go out and go dancing but I had the opportunity to go to a Harry Potter themed party (it was most definitely called The Yule Ball) and maybe it was the theme or just the fact that I was going with my quidditch teammates but I was looking forward to it all week. Considering that a normal night of fun for me is hanging out with a few friends playing board games, taking it easy and chatting up a storm this was quite odd for me.

Funny thing is about the past couple of weeks, despite leaving me confused as to why I feel like I’m acting so out of sorts of my normal self, everything seemed to be feeling right. I was smiling more, laughing more, even relishing having a chance to talk about dresses and dances. I’m pretty pleased that I let myself go through everything I have and actually acknowledge the feelings that go with each event. Clearly there was a part of me that needed to express that. Maybe I’m learning how to identify what I need and giving myself permission to express it which I’ve always had trouble with before. Or maybe I’m just learning to go with the flow and allowing myself to give in to what’s going on around me and enjoy the moments more. Either way, I like where it’s going 🙂

Until next time,

Selina

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