Young and free

Over the past 2 weeks, I have found myself saying “what is wrong with me” multiple times to myself. Not because I’ve gone and repeated a mistake I should have really learned from the first time but because I’ve been busy rediscovering old passions. Some of these things I don’t even know why I stopped doing and some just triggered some amazing memories and feelings of freedom coupled with a sense of everything being right in the world.

I laced up my runners and started running again this month. I didn’t even know that I enjoyed going for runs all that much I just realized that my endurance was absolutely terrible during quidditch practice and figured I should probably work on that for upcoming tournaments. I used to run often in September after I returned from Nevada, at first it was because it was weird not hiking 6 km everyday like I was used to and then it turned into a productive way to get rid of a lot of excess energy and had slowly morphed into my go to thing when I was bored and the sun was shining. An excuse to get out into the sunshine and out of my head, I would always return home with a clear head which helped me get perspective on things a lot faster. My first run in 4 months was a painful one. My legs remembered the habit and embraced the motion but the rest of my body wasn’t too pleased with what I was doing, but I powered through and I’m hoping that the act of running starts feeling more natural as I get back into it.

I not only laced up my runners recently but a pair of skates too. Up until just over a week ago, the last time I had gone skating was during the winter olympics at the small outdoor ice rink at Robson Square. I wasn’t really up for it initially but since I had nothing else to do with my Friday night, it was better than sitting at home and I’m glad I did. It felt great to be back out on the ice and I couldn’t quite figure out why I stopped skating so much. When I was younger, I would always be at the Saturday public skates at the local rink and sometimes Sundays too if I felt like it. Maybe I just had too much homework, maybe I started volunteering Saturday evenings or maybe I just got tired of spending so much time in my own head. Either way, it was great to skate again, I just need to remember to bring my own skates next time.

Before I started high school, I used to spend a lot of time playing outside with the other kids in the complex I used to live in. I remember playing hide and go seek with the boys coming to find the girls and when we’d run out of good hiding places, we’d stand in the middle of the lawn and pretend to be trees or crouch as if we were rocks so that they couldn’t see us. The best part was, that it worked! Once they said they found us, we’d just say “no, we’re trees, you can’t see us” and then they’d leave waiting for us to find another hiding spot or catch us between our mimicry. I tapped into that inner child that’s been hiding for over a decade now when hanging out with my second cousins. Granted they are 10 and 6 but together with my brothers and another one of our second cousins, we had an epic nerf gun war. I was building forts out of giant stuffed animals, army crawling to collect more ammo and going into full on camouflage by hiding under a brown blanket and sniping people as they walked into the room because the lights were off. I really miss being a kid that is really that carefree. I mean, I’ve always felt young for my age but I’ve never quite been able to tap into that inner child for a long time. My mom thought I was crazy.

I’ve been brainstorming all the things that I’ve stopped doing as I’ve gone through life and find more things in my life that let me feel that free.

Until next time,

Selina

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