Valentine’s musings

Yes, it is a little late for valentines posts but I’m doing one anyway. Between episodes of The Simpsons, Modern Family and a viewing of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, I spent time wondering if I’ve actually learned anything from being single all these years. I started flipping through my old notebooks and I realized that at one point I actually learned a very valuable lesson. I’ve just found so many sources of frustration in my life lately that I’ve pretty much forgotten that lesson entirely.

Now I’m at the awkward phase in my life where most of my friends are paired off or I’m at the very periphery of a friend circle so chances are I’d be one of the last people they’d call to hang out. Normally I don’t mind this because I’ve gotten used to being the odd one out but when the Game of Thrones exhibition came to town as part of the end of summer fair I had a lot of trouble finding someone to go with. Apparently the Fair had become a couples activity which put me in an awkward spot mostly because I didn’t want to go alone. Luckily one of my beater buddies wanted to go check out the exhibition as well, so we made plans to head out together. Problem solved right.

Cersi and Joffrey costumesThe S-squared beating team (plus sister) had a great time, checked out all the different attractions while waiting for our time slot to get into the exhibition, spent hours checking out the exhibit and had a great time. Then at around dinner time, it was time for my beater buddy and her sister to leave. The Fair was still open for another 5 hours and while I was waiting for them at the gate, I had noticed that both Gavin DeGraw and Raghav were performing that night. I was familiar with a few of Gavin DeGraw’s songs and I thought I had heard of Raghav, so for the first time, I was actually inclined to stay for the performances and since my beater buddy and her sister had left, I had a decision to make. Leave or stay by myself.

I decided to stay and check out the performances, I mean if it was just too weird, I could just leave, there was nothing stopping me from doing that. Now remember the lesson I mentioned having learned earlier, this is where the learning began. At this point in my life I had been contemplating being in a IMG_0457long distance relationship which would mean that even if I was in a relationship, I would still be finding myself in this situation. My friends would be off with their significant others and I would still be on my own. I’ve always been on my own for my birthday, Christmas and New Years and because I’ve been doing it for so long I’ve gotten used to it but going out and doing something on my own was unfamiliar territory for me. I started wandering around the Marketplace and Playland, taking in the once familiar sights of my childhood and yes, it was a little weird at first seeing everyone in groups while I wandered around on my own but it wasn’t so bad. I realized that this is most likely what my life would be like if I were in a long distance relationship, going out and doing things on my own because it just wouldn’t make sense for me to miss out on things in life just because I didn’t have anyone by my side. I needed to be able to enjoy doing things on my own.

I ended up staying for the entire Gavin DeGraw concert that night, all 2 hours of it and at some point I Gavin DeGrawrealized that I was having fun on my own. It was actually really nice to not have to worry if the rest of my friends were having fun as well, I didn’t have to leave earlier or later than I wanted to, I could do whatever I wanted to. As I looked around the crowd, I noticed that I wasn’t the only one there on my own, there were a few other people in the crowd who were on their own and they weren’t letting that stop themselves from having a great time either. That’s when I realized that I can have fun on my own, I don’t need to be surrounded by people to have fun, I just need the courage to get out of the house and do it.

I most definitely would not have stayed to watch the rest of Raghav’s Those Little Donutsperformance that night if I hadn’t been there alone. When I got there, the music wasn’t my style but he was so entertaining between songs I couldn’t help but stay. Couple that with a dozen of my favorite mini donuts and I was realized that I had more fun that night on my own than with a group of people in a long time.

I guess that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned being single, I don’t need to be surrounded by people to have fun, it’s possible for me to have fun on my own and that I find myself to be good company.

Until next time,

Selina

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