Monthly Archives: September 2015

2am ramblings…

It’s currently 2am. I haven’t written here in 7 months apparently and funny enough I hadn’t really noticed until now. Honestly there isn’t really much direction, forethought and purpose to this post except for the fact that I feel compelled to write this right now at this very moment and post it for the world to see. I get like this sometimes. This random desire to write and put it out on the page and get the thoughts out of my brain. The impulse generally doesn’t make sense but I go with it. I figure why not, it’s not like I should be doing anything like sleeping at this hour anyway. No, I’m not nocturnal, my schedule is just offset from the typical¬†diurnal person. In my mind work has to be the first thing of the day, but when the work day starts at noon or 1 in the afternoon, one tends to wake up later in the day, stay up later at night and then it just kind of happens over and over and then you can’t sleep at 2 am and it just ends up being the new normal.

Now my brain is indecisive and can’t quite decide if it should follow “Thought A” or “Thought B” for the rest of this post because this is what happens when there is no forethought to this whole blogging thing. I’ll make this easy and follow both because neither is formed well enough to actually be substantial.

Thought A: I read somewhere that the average daydream lasts about 14 seconds and we have several thousands of them a day. I noticed that every now and then I get one that sticks to my brain and I just play the same 14 seconds over and over again before realizing it and then I consciously start to add bits to the beginning and ending just to give it more substance. It will stick with me for days, sometimes even weeks or months and then I’ll randomly forget about it. That is until I begin to wonder what I normally think about all day and suddenly realize I just don’t care for the elaborate story that I created in my head and I wait for the next one to get stuck in my brain. I realized this when I tried to actually write a short¬†story on one of them and failed because I just stopped thinking about it (I got like one scene in and it was like at the middle of the beginning. I’m still debating if it can stand alone as a very, very short story but have no idea).

I see this every time I glance  at my iPod and I think it's starting to sink in again.

I see this every time I glance at my iPod and I think it’s starting to sink in again.

Thought B: This one is apparently hard for my brain to come up with a comprehensive explanation at this point in time. I know it has to do with the quote in the picture. It’s slightly strange because I feel like I’ve grown back into a person I used to be (who embodied that quote quite thoroughly) when in theory we’re always supposed to be changing and evolving forwards yet going backwards seems to be working well for me right now. If that made sense to you, most excellent. If not, I’m going to blame it on the fact that it’s almost 3am so I should stop before I have to change the title of this to 3am ramblings.

Now if you read this and come back looking for it and it’s disappeared, that would be me wondering what I was thinking and destroying all evidence that this every happened. Happy times!

Until next time,

Selina

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